It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...

...a hooker with a samurai sword killing five guys in slums called "The Pitts." The five guys were bad men, all of them, who had just recently been at a lady named Shellie's house fully prepared to rape and murder Shellie and some of her friends. Not a suprising event to take place in a film that contains castration, child molestation, domestic abuse, blood, gore, disembowelment, rape, cannibalism, torture and enough death to satisfy Sam Peckinpah on a meth bender. According to imdb.com, Sin City "...[is] based on the graphic novels "Sin City" (the first graphic novel was just called "Sin City;" this story has been renamed "The Hard Good-Bye" by Miller), "The Big Fat Kill" and "That Yellow Bastard", by Frank Miller The opening footage with Josh Hartnett and Marley Shelton is from the Sin City short story "The Customer is Always Right" from the "Babe Wore Red" collection." One is the story of a cop named Hartigan, who tries to protect a small girl from a pedophile with government connections but is put in jail for years. The second story is that of a warrior named Marv, again wrongly accused of an innocent. And the third is Dwight's story, who is out to kill five guys he doesn't trust and to protect "the girls", the aforementioned prostitutes. The film has many problems: it's bloody, it's gory, and there are even some punches that can make you wince. Visually, it's absolutely stunning, the action is non-stop and a helluvalot of fun. In conversation with a friend of mine, Max, he remarked: "...the problem is that they abandoned the medium of cinema and instead tried to recreate the medium of comics on the screen." I'd have to say I agree, though it certainly made for an interesting two hours. I enjoyed Sin City, yes, though there are times when Rodriguez (the director) abandons substance for a great deal of style. So, rent it. By all means, see it. But bring the Tums. My grade: B.

And to think I could've been seeing Sky High...

"The Beat My Heart Skipped" is a French remake of an American film, which, in itself is an oddity.
The American film was a flop, so director Jaques Audiard decided to remake it- Parisian style. I know, I know, the prospect scared me too. My spidey-sense was tingling, I knew something was wrong... yet... I saw it anyway. Took the train in, subway, walked a dozen blocks... and then found myself watching a seemingly endless film. Let me say this: a film is not good if you ever think the phrase "Well, it has to be over this scene, because this is absolutely the longest film I've ever seen. It's not humanly possible for it to go on another... oh crap." Then you check your watch, and the film has been going for twenty seven mintues. The film is about... well, several things, really. The main character is something of a low-level real estate hit man, who dreams of playing piano, and has problems with his father... and drinking... and he's sleeping with his best friend's wife... I couldn't get a hold of it. It seemed like there were about 4 movies in there with a willing director, but it was too much for one film. Yet nobody seemed to recognize that. I'll give it this: the acting was tight, all of it. I particularly enjoyed the piano sequences. But the film just dragged and seemed pointless, and maybe I'm not nearly deep enough to understand French cinema (it's been suggested), but still, this film absolutely merits my grade, of a C-.

The paradox that is Zach Braff's "Garden State"

The first time somebody sees Garden State, they love it. Absolutely. And why not? The intimitely told and cleverly acted story of one man's coming of age was directed with grace and dignity, with a killer soundtrack (The Shins, Nick Drake...etc.) And it's a love story (also, I have four words for you: Peter Skarsgaard on Ecstasy.) Then you watch it again. But here's the thing: it's a pretty terrible film. Early on in the script, clearly when he was less sure of the film, Braff relies heavily on sight gags (his shirt matches the bathroom wall [see below], walking past a series of motion-sensitive faucets, they all go off...), and then quickly drops them once he gets into his stride. The dialogue (dutifully noted by Nate) is awful... you want a sample?

Kelly: Well, we just ate all this fucking 'X', so what the hell else are we supposed to do?

I believe, as Nate put it... "Terrible line. Terrible delivery." Nate's fun that way. He would also like me to remind you about one line that comes in the middle of what can be called the emotional epicenter of the love story, where Portman sums up the film with the cringe worthy... "That's life." But he was right. The problem with Garden State is that it simultaneously takes itself way too seriously at the same time that it's groaning under the weight of it's own self rightousness. Another problem: Zach (writer, director, star) can only write good dialogue in two-person scenes. The stuff between Portman and Braff is usually pretty good, but the problem comes in other scenes... when other characters enter the mix. It's just a bit depressing. The acting is solid, which counter acts the oddly placed drug sequences. Inside the mess there is a good story to be told, but it just didn't come out right. Ah well. As of right now, I can't get my head wrapped around this film. I think I'll go watch it again. My grade: ???